deep breath.

i was going to entitle this post “fail” because i don’t think i blogged at all last week.  i didn’t take any pictures … and i didn’t do any blog challenges.  i worked on and finished my amigurumi girl teddy bear (Hakiri Yume) … and she came out twice the size of Kamoku (the boy bear) and she looked 8 months pregnant.  i was SO frustrated. :(

working on a pattern for 2 weeks only to finish it and hate it … makes me feel like i just wasted my time.  i know i am learning and growing … but this is why i struggle so with arts and crafts.  i just want to MAKE and create.  i don’t want to spend my time messing up and making mistakes.  :(  so, what usually happens is that i don’t DO anything.  that way, i can’t mess up.  makes sense, right?

anyway.  so i finished Hakiri and was upset with the way she turned out.  then i had the most ridiculous few days imaginable while Dave was away on business.  apparently i am unable to take care of myself anymore.

i got sick, slept through my alarm making me VERY late for my opening shift at work, on my way to said late shift, i rear-ended an old lady in a van marked for transportation of handicapped people, FINALLY got to work, felt like garbage for several reasons, decided to take half a sick day, on my way home, stopped at the local bagel place to get a bagel and coffee, slipped on ice outside and fell hard on my butt and back and head AND spilt THE WHOLE COFFEE on my legs.  once i finally made it home, i closed my fingers in the door and spilled a glass of orange juice on the counter.  i spent the rest of the day on the couch watching law & order and finishing the gigantic and pregnant Hakiri.  oh and then the next day?  i had to open and we had snow over night and dave took his car on his business trip so i had my car and got it stuck in my driveway.  in like a minute.  and could not get it out.  and had to take a personal day.  which was nice … but i felt like a complete IDIOT calling my boss to tell her i couldn’t get to work because i was stuck in my driveway.  *sigh*  oh and i spent the week eating garbage … so i felt like garbage. :(

so … it was a yucky couple of days.  i took the weekend off from life … except for my shift on saturday.  i didn’t really crochet or craft at all.  i spent a lot of time on the couch, in front of the fire, snuggling up with Dave and watching tv.  :)  (of course, our Jets lost yesterday … so we did have a tough evening.  :( )

but now it’s Monday.  and i am taking a deep breath.  and i am going to start over.

i’ve started a new girl bear.  i discovered that the Vanna White yarn comes out better and a smaller size than the Michael’s Impeccable yarn.  the Impeccable yarn is great and comes in great colors … but i’ve noticed that the bears come out monster size compared to the Vanna yarn.  my problem with the Vanna yarn, however, is that i can’t find the perfect light brown teddy bear color.  my Michaels only has dark brown or beige … nothing in between.  :/  i’m not sure what else to try.

i’m trying again to eat better because i ate poorly last week and felt it.  so i’m starting that over too …

i’m trying not to agonize over wasted time … i am just looking forward to this week and getting stuff done!  i did nothing this weekend except keep my kitchen clean!  lol.  but, deal with it, jessica, and move on to this week!!!

and maybe i should stop setting myself up for so much failure by listing “i’m going to do this, this and this EACH DAY!”  i’m just going to take each day as it comes and do as much as i can.

i would love to hear about your tricks and ways you stay organized and on top of things!  feel free to leave them in the comments!

hope each and everyone has a productive week!  and i hope to check in with you BEFORE next monday!!! lol.

xoxo